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Engineering Grit and Resilience

Engineering Grit and Resilience

We often hear that "life is a race" and "life is a roller coaster". If those metaphors hold then undoubtedly life is a marathon, not a sprint. Every twist and turn, every uphill climb, requires not just physical strength but mental fortitude. Just as endurance athletes carefully engineer their grit and resilience, we too must gear up for the long-haul challenges of life. Whether as developers, individuals, parents, or spouses, we must train our ability to live in the moment AND our capacity to keep showing up day-in-day-out, no matter what.

Obstacles and Control

All developers know that moment at the start, when you have little to no idea how to solve the task at hand. It can be very overwhelming. But elite performers don’t see challenges; they see opportunities. In every bug, there's a lesson, in every line of code, a story. It’s not about coding perfectly once but about the relentless commitment to excellence with every sprint, every epic, and every product. A true developer possesses the wisdom to discern between controllable and uncontrollable variables and the temperance to approach every challenge with a clear, focused mind.

Whether you're a software engineer like me, or a Mom with a capital "M", or any of the thousands of things that we do, when you are having a low moment, when you are feeling tired, when you are riding that line between red-line and flat-line, learning to reserve a place in your mind to be curious - to be the watcher - is invaluable. It is that reserved thread of thinking that can remind you why you do what you do. It can tell you that you've got more to give. Or, it can also be the voice that knows when it is time to do what you can because today is not the day to push.

Authenticity and Mastery

Every morning, when that alarm rings and we defy the temptation to snooze, we're making a statement. We're choosing discipline, commitment, and mastery. Our everyday choices, like prioritizing recovery and sleep, nurturing an insatiable curiosity, and embracing life with humility, are reflections of our authentic selves. They're declarations of our intent to not just participate in life but to master it.

Start your day with a win: get up and spend 5-10 minutes just being you. Do NOT reach for your phone. Just be. You will be amazed at how effective this start is. If you have a journaling practice, that can be your 5-10 minutes - just as long as the time is 100% about just being you.

Parenting and Partnership

If there's one domain where resilience shines the brightest, it's in our roles as parents, partners, and mentors. It's an intricate dance of patience, understanding, feedback, and resilience. Open communication becomes our compass, guiding us through storms and sunny days alike. Every relationship requires work – an endurance of spirit and a pledge to keep moving forward, especially when the path is fraught with challenges.

Virtues and Success

In our modern world, the virtues of wisdom, temperance, justice, and courage have never been more relevant. Think about your days: when has any of these virtues NOT set you up for success?

Wisdom

Wisdom represents the application of knowledge, experience, and insight to the complexities of life. Wisdom sees beyond the immediate, recognizes patterns, anticipates outcomes, and makes decisions for the long game. Wisdom serves as the guiding compass, directing us towards choices that reflect not only knowledge but also understanding and benevolence.

Marcus Aurelius, who arguably was the greatest emperor of all time, studied under Emporer Antoninus for 20 years! When he finally came to power, it was at a time of wars, plagues, and financial ruin. His ability to introspectively navigate the challenges of his time, while maintaining a commitment to the greater good and moral integrity, showcases a wisdom that continues to inspire and guide individuals today.

Temperance

The art of balance, channeling passion with restraint, ensuring our energies are directed purposefully. We must practice temperance now because none of us know what the future holds. Temperance, also thought of as discipline, can take may forms. The one I like to keep in mind is: Never take your eye off the 8-ball. Ahead on the judges cards? That does not guarantee you jack. Project ahead of schedule? Great, finish early. Don't coast. Life often throws you the curveball you're not looking for.

Tim Duncan ("The Big Fundamental"), with the San Antonio Spurs, showcased a measured, disciplined approach to the game, never letting emotions cloud his judgment on the court. Duncan relied on consistent, calculated moves and a deep understanding of the game's nuances. His demeanor, both on and off the court, was one of quiet confidence and restraint, even amidst the provocations of opposing players. Bottom line: Duncan made temperance cool.

Justice

Justice lives in our daily actions and choices. In personal relationships, workplaces, and communities, justice manifests as the commitment to right action, the courage to stand against wrong action, and the wisdom to discern one from the other. It challenges biases, confronts prejudices, and advocates for those who may not have a voice. Engineering excellence must have at its bedrock a commitment to justice, otherwise we risk being excellent at doing harm. In your pursuit of excellence, just make sure you keep a space for practicing this critical virtue.

John Thompson, the legendary leader of the Georgetown Hoyas, stands out as a beacon of justice. Thompson was more than just a coach; he was a staunch advocate for the rights and opportunities of his players. In an era riddled with racial inequalities, he used his platform to challenge the societal status quo, even famously walking off the court before a game in 1989 to protest NCAA Proposition 42, which he believed unfairly penalized underprivileged athletes. Under his guidance, Georgetown became a haven for young black athletes.

Courage

Courage is the decision to act in spite of fear. It is the fortitude that allows us to confront uncomfortable truths, to stand against popular opinion, and to embrace challenges head-on. Courage isn't about bluster or bravado, but about reasoned action, resilience, and the acceptance of life's inherent uncertainties. It's understanding that adversity is not an obstacle but an opportunity. Every challenge is a teacher, and every setback, a lesson in the making.

Georges St-Pierre, was by any measure a high-achiever in MMA. But it was his comeback after a four-year hiatus, overcoming personal struggles, and a rapidly evolving sport, that showcased his courage. He openly discussed his battles with anxiety and the immense pressure of being at the pinnacle of the sport. His willingness to confront these internal demons, paired with his dedication to evolving as a martial artist, epitomizes the kind of courage that resonates beyond "punches and kicks". Courage is as much about mental and emotional resilience as it is about physical risk.

Rise. Grind. Repeat.

Life is a relentless cycle of challenges and triumphs. It demands that we be grinders, embodying the spirit of the endurance athlete. Remember, it's not about the quick wins or short sprints; it's about the journey, the relentless drive, and the burning desire to always reach for more.

Rise. Grind. Repeat.

Further Reading